3 Lessons We Can Learn From Daisy's Water Rescue
Jul 02, 2020
Crisp blue saturated the sky and warmed my legs as the mid day sun was coming to a peek. I had just turned my chair to face the water when Daisy had decided to leave her sandcastle building to splash around in the man made beach we had visited with friends that day. I saw that Daisy wanted to get on a little raft with a few of her friends, and the raft started to drift further out. This water was not deep, and she had not had any issues with touching the bottom, and I was confident in her years of swimming lessons...but I still kept an eye on her.
Within a minute of drifting out the small raft tipped off kilter and she was in the water with 3 of her friends. Though her friends were standing with plenty of head room above the water, Daisy was treading water and scared because she could not touch.
I jumped up and ran into the water and yelled "She can't touch! She can't touch!" When I saw that her friends could not hear me over their own splashing. I knew I would make it to her, but I changed my mental path, "Keep Treading Daisy!! Keep Treading!!" What seemed like a lifetime, was only about 10 seconds. My hand touched Daisy's leg as the beach lifeguard pulled her out to safety. I held her tight, and thanked the lifeguard. He yelled at Daisy, "You knew you couldn't touch, you knew it and you went anyway. Don't do it again." She was in tears, and I was grateful that she was in my arms. I assured him that she did not know, and that I did not know.
I held her for a while and then she went back to building the moat for her sand castle. When I was helping her load into the truck she said,
"Mommy, I forgot all of my swim lessons when I fell in and couldn't touch."
"Baby girl, you remembered the single most important thing. You remembered your tools and that treading water was the best tool that you could use in that moment. I am so proud of you for remembering that you needed to tread water, that is exactly what you needed in that moment, and you did it! Your strong arms kept you up, did you ever go under the water?"
"I didn't go under Mommy." She smiled as she realized that she was able to keep herself up.
What We Can Learn From Daisy's Water Rescue
Lesson 1:
When we become overwhelmed with fear, our default coping mechanism is to tread water. This is not just a swim lesson. Check in with yourself for a moment. What is your default mechanism, what is your coping tool that helps you in times of fear and overwhelm? How do you "tread water?"
In March, my default coping mechanism was to grab my planner and start filling blank pages with what I hoped to accomplish. Planning is no longer my form of treading water, because it was not getting me back to shore. In fact, I was planning so frequently in those first 8 weeks, just to cope, that I didn't remember other tools that had proven more effective. I uncovered that planning and overscheduling in this season of life only added to my need to tread water. My default was adding to my overwhelm, and was not built for a pandemic. I had to reach for another tool.
Lesson 2:
Be aware if your default coping mechanism was built for this season of your life. In Daisy's case, she could not remember what other tools she had access to. She's an incredible swimmer, and in that moment she forgot who she was. In moments of fear, we tend to forget who we are. What have you forgotten about how incredible you are? What else can you reach for in your tool belt? Do you paint or love yoga? Does a walk or meditation sooth your soul? Give yourself a few minutes to dive in and let the layers of self doubt melt away. What tool could be more effective in bringing you back to center, enabling you to reach the shore?
In this season, being still and meditating have become my default. If I feel my Cortisol start to raise, for no apparent reason, I find a quiet place and allow myself to be still. This is hard for a Type A achiever, and the exact opposite of over-planning. But it doesn't wear me out, and it refreshes my soul.
Lesson 3:
If you notice someone struggling with fear and overwhelm, do not yell at, or judge them. Even if that person is your spouse! They may be too scared to hear you. Instead, offer to sit with them. They may be too overwhelmed to remember anything other than treading water. They may have become too tired from treading water to remember the other skills that could easily take them to shore. Remind them of who they are, and all of the good that you see in them. Breathe life back into them, and help tow them to shore. Be freely giving of grace and love. We are all in this together, and having someone by our sides can help us remember who we are.
If reading this has brought light to needing a few extra tools in your belt, download our free guide to Overcoming Overwhelm.
Photo by Hermansyah on Unsplash
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