The True Cost of Effortless Beauty

This message has been on my heart for quite some time now.  I feel and see so many women chasing the image of effortless beauty every day.  We want it, at least a piece of it for ourselves.  The thought that I could just roll out of bed, pull my hair tie out and perfectly beautiful waves of golden hair would just fall out drenching my face with the glow of much needed highlights.  Throw on a pair of well broken-in jeans, maybe a thermal on a morning like today, and just be, well, effortless.  It sounds so freeing, so captivating, and yet so realistic. What does Effortless Beauty actual entail?

We see the fashion blogger that seems to have everything together.  Her hair perfectly coiffed and her eyebrows on point.  Doing nothing really, just floating along the sidewalk looking off into the distance like she could take on the world, and she does. Effortlessly.

We see a mom on Instagram that has a perfectly simple yet beautiful outfit, and wonderfully coordinated children, all smiling.  None of them yelling, none of them back talking or telling little white lies.  A perfect image of motherhood.  Happy mom, happy kids right?  Effortless.

We see the news reporter that looks incredible yet completely relatable and down to earth on the evening news.  She totally nailed the message about how the community is doing an outreach to help young girls and you were able to enjoy her storytelling because she looks effortless.  Painfully Effortless.

Effortless.  Pure.  Vibrant.  Peaceful. Well rested.  Effortless.

There is something about the peace and connection we experience when we see someone that we perceive as owning effortless beauty.  We think: 

“If I could just figure out how to pull my hair up the right way at night.”

“If I could just find the right type of pillowcase, so I don’t have to reshape and redo my hair in the morning”

“If I could just find the right foundation.”

“If I could just be more like her.”

“If I could just……..”

I think it is about time that one of us who has been responsible for helping the industry portray effortless images, speaks out.  I want you to know what it actually takes to have the appearance of effortless beauty on camera.  I don’t know how to say this anymore clearly than this.  

Effortless Beauty on Camera does not equal Effortless Beauty in Real Life.  They are not the same thing.  They aren’t even in the same ballpark.  They are 2 different chapters in 2 very different books….different genres even.  

Why are they so different?

What translates to the visual impact of Effortless Beauty in person does not translate to the visual impact of Effortless Beauty on camera.  If you were to achieve the look and feel of Effortless Beauty in person, it would appear sloppy and misdirected on camera.  It would truly look like that person did not care, and here is why:

What a person can see with the naked eye is automatically in soft focus.  Now this can be a little different from person to person, depending on how good their eyesight is, but generally speaking we all see in soft focus.  When I am looking someone in the eyes while having a conversation, my eyes are usually focused on their eyes, or a combination of their eyes and mouth depending on how well I can hear them in the environment we are in.  So their face will generally be in focus, if I can maintain eye contact. Everything else is not as sharp.  The edges soften out and therefore, are truly more forgiving than if that person were on camera.  When I am talking to a friend in person, they are also to the same scale that I am.  So my perspective of that soft focus is compuondingly forgiving based on proximity. 

The camera on the other hand, was created to ensure that all things are in focus.  When we see an image of a person that is on television, or social media, or print, you are literally able to see all of that individual in focus, and magnified. There is no soft focus, unless it is added through the lens work or editing process. That is wonderful for capturing memories, but changes how we would execute an image of Effortless Beauty.  Add in lighting, and depending on the temperature of that lighting you will see facial features and contours differently.  Scale is also a magnifier, because when we are looking at the television we usually see the entire person, or the top half of that person.  Perspectively speaking, they are more compact than if that individual were standing right in front of us at the same distance.  So we have a completely in focus, under lighting, compacted into a smaller but more visual package.  We can see all of this person, and all of that person is fully in focus.  This requires a different set of tools all together.

Because I maintain primarily non disclosure clients, I am going to have to share exactly how I myself achieve my form of “Effortless Beauty”.  I have had so many messages from the community that comment on how effortless I appear in photos.  If I could insert a jaw drop emoji in this blog, this would be exactly where it would go.  It may outwardly seem effortless but it is anything but that. Keep in mind, I have been helping others appear this way for a couple decades, so I have been teaching these techniques and have a substantial amount of sustained thought process in precisely that.  This is a little bit scary to me because I am going to put this all out there for you.  All. Of. It.   

The True Cost of On Camera Effortless Beauty

I think the first main key to a peaceful and effortless image is to be incredibly self aware.  

I need to eat well to fuel my body.  Due to a significant illness about 7 years ago, I am unable to eat like a normal, convenience consumer.  My grocery bill is high because I do have to prepare all of my own food.  Anyone who has tried to eat clean, or cut down on restaurant spending can relate.  What happens if I don’t stay exactly on track with this eating regimen, is far from effortless.  It looks like lethargy and drives like a ticked off teenager.  I could end up in the hospital, or in a Benadryl daze.  Neither of which are camera friendly.  If I don’t take care of myself by eating incredibly regularly, you are not going to get what I would call an effortless image.  Cooking takes time, a great deal of time.  Thankfully I meal prep regularly and that helps, but there is still a significant time investment. 

I need to take care of my body by making sure that I live an active lifestyle.  For me this is more of a time investment than a reoccurring cost.  My husband and I found that it is more cost effective to invest in a few key pieces of equipment to make a sustainable at home system.  I don’t currently have a gym membership.  I do ride my bike, run, and row pretty regularly, and do a yoga session once a week.  Bike, Rowing machine, running shoes and gear, yoga.  I mean you could even prorate those items to get a solid number.  I spend about 30 minutes daily on a workout, but up to 2.5 hours whenever I get the chance to get a long bike ride in.  

I need to take care of my mind.  That is a non-negotiable for me.  I rest when needed.  I read daily.  I journal.  I meditate, and go to therapy when I know that I am struggling.  I make sure to police my friends and when I find that one is toxic, I am quick to remove them.  Because I mentor so many people, I also have mentors.  Some of these activities cost a little money, but they all cost time.  If I don’t have sufficient time in one of these areas,  you are not going to get a peaceful Effortless Beauty image.  Because of the sheer time commitment in this area, I also need to be aware when to say no to non-obligations. I need to set boundaries. I need to make realistic deadlines.

Just checking back in for a second.  Have we even talked about makeup yet? I don’t think we have covered that or hair.  So let’s take a quick look at those too.

Before we get to makeup, I have to talk about skin care.  I am a total skin care junkie.  There is nothing quite like an at home facial scrub or peel.  Of course, I have my favorites, and need to use use specific products due to having sensitive skin.  I typically schedule my peels and masks twice a week.  One of these has been strategically placed on Makeupless Monday, because I want my skin to breathe well that day.  Then I choose an additional day of the week that I don’t necessarily need to wear makeup.  I use a 50SPF with a brightener that help the redness and age spots.  If that product ever gets discontinued, I will cry huge ugly tears for sure.  I also use cleanser, toner, an eye creme and moisturizer.  I also use supplemental products from time to time depending on how my sensitive skin is responding to the elements and travel conditions.  Consistently using a good skin care regimen is paramount to obtaining effortless beauty, both on and off camera.  Skin care is no different than other investments.  It costs both time and money to keep on top of my skin and have the proper foundation to withstand makeup.

I have to invest in quality makeup that is created for camera, and it is not what I would consider inexpensive.  Knowing what shades and proper application technique can take a great deal of time to get the hang of.  There is definitely more time invested into makeup on the front end.  Many who are on camera in any capacity have invested in a coach like myself to train them on the exact techniques that will help them accomplish their goals.  A standard on camera makeup kit usually consists of more than 20 products, and my personal kit is no different.  Then add in brushes to use those products and you can see how quickly the cost adds up.

We all know that hair can be incredibly expensive.  From cut and color, to products and treatments we can stack up a pretty good chunk of change.  Those who are consistently on camera need to have regularly scheduled appointments with the same stylist so that means no Great Clips.  I do all of the above.  I also have the added expense of extensions.  Don’t even get me started there.  My hair has a nice natural color for on camera, but extensions do not typically come in a color that is anywhere close to mine, so those extensions need to also be colored, which means my hair needs to be colored.  I also am unable to wear just any extensions being on camera because many styles show up very easily under all of that compounded focus.  So expensive, and unfortunately, in my case, necessary.  Due to the same illness I brushed over above, I do not have as thick of hair as I once did.  Hair that is a little more on the thin side can be totally fine in person.  On camera though, you would be able to see my scalp if it weren’t styled just precisely the right way.  Now that doesn’t paint an image of Effortless Beauty, now does it? Now let’s talk time.  It takes about 5 hours to get a set of extensions for volume, longer if I would want more length.  There is also cut and color maintenance in between when I have extensions replaced.  Special treatments to make sure that my hair acts right in daily life and on camera that take an additional hour or two each week at home.  

I can get by with at home manicures for the most part because I would not typically polish my nails for daily life.  I do have to either get a professional manicure or figure out a time when I can do my nails at home when I have an upcoming segment, photoshoot, video shoot or speaking engagement.  Sometimes, everything aligns well and I can get by with once a month, but it usually ends up being every other week.  It is honestly tremendously cheaper time wise for me to get my nails professionally manicured, so I usually choose that route.  I also try to make it a special little outing for my daughter and I to get our nails done together.  She absolutely loves it, and so do I!  

These are all what I would consider necessities for on camera Effortless Beauty.  It is clear to see that there is a significant amount of time and money that is invested.  I often say in client appointments that if women knew the true cost of Effortless Beauty, we would never try to chase it.  It’s not that it is not attainable, because it truly is, it just takes more time than what most women have to give.  I am not painting a picture of luxury here.   I am only on camera every two weeks right now, and I try to schedule my photoshoots within a few days of being on camera so that I still have good hair, and nails.  I still maintain a full client load on top of everything else.  Time is precious to me so Effortless Beauty has to look like a well choreographed dance of planned out time.  Instead of going to the spa and enjoying a luxurious facial, it looks like having a hair treatment going on under a shower cap, while wearing a pore cleansing mask, and having my teeth whitening trays in all while typing up a blog post.  Instead of driving to a personal trainer at the gym, it looks like doing quick runs around the block between Instant Pot rounds on meal prep day.  It looks like rowing with a shower cap on while I am viewing clients early in the morning on television.   I try my best to use my time and money wisely so if I can accomplish 3 things at the same time, I am doing it. Now, doesn’t that sound effortless?

I want to leave you with one last thought.  Could it be that what we are actually chasing isn’t necessarily the image of Effortless Beauty at all?  Could it be that what we are actually chasing is the peace that we feel when we see an image of Effortless Beauty?  Maybe, just maybe we should be chasing PEACE instead?   What brings you Peace?  I mean what truly brings you peace.  For me it is playing on the swing set in our backyard with my daughter.  Follow that up with a warm bowl of soup, and a date night with my husband and you will get that peaceful, Effortless Beauty image.  Whatever it is that brings you PEACE focus on that.  My suggestion is to start implementing Peace into your daily regimen. Peace will always translate to Effortless Beauty in person.