Letters To My Daughter - Grace
May 14, 2020
To My Daughter,
I want you to catch me deliberately showing myself grace, so that you know that it is ok and truly fruitful to show yourself grace.
It wasn't till we were in the midst of the 7th week of shutdown in a global pandemic, that I realized what level of grace I needed to model so that you could start to give yourself grace. We show some level of grace to ourselves on a regular basis, but in the unhurried still that has become our new rhythm of life, our opportunity for grace that we can show ourselves is boundless. I want to show you that I am willing to give myself grace for letting go of that hurried, and dominant level of expectations for myself.
I want to show her so badly that I am capable of showing myself grace, because I know that she will need this self-awareness to harness what is truly good in her own life. To reset my core values, and to give myself a lighter burden. It is only in this way that she will know that it is ok to press the reset button in her own in the future. When she can feel in in her core, that she needs too. She doesn't need to hold on to a burden that no longer serves her, because it may not even be a burden that she was intended to carry. That she doesn't need to hold on to something out of obligation, or legalism, or a societal standard. I want her to know that True Grace brings True Freedom.
Sure, it may be scary in the beginning. That is why it requires more grace on the front end. The chains have to be broken, before the taste of freedom can be experienced. The walls have to come down, before we see the path.
I see this new level of grace, because of you, baby girl. Thank you for showing mommy grace. I could count a full hand the times that you have said, "You are being too hard on yourself, Mommy." Those words were crushing then, but only in the the stillness of this shutdown did I see their true scope. In the stillness, we have the capacity to see more.
It has been an absolute pleasure and joy for me to show you that it is ok to give yourself the same grace that you show others. And in that one true act of grace and bravery, mommy now knows so much more about you, because the walls I never even saw that guarded your heart, have begun to fall.
Each day, you share with me a new area that you are giving yourself grace. I am humbled by your willingness to let go of areas that you thought you needed to be perfect to measure up to your self-perceived standards. I did not see that my hurried example was creating this expectation and standard in your heart. Your heart needs more time to process than what a hurried life allows, and I now know that mine does too. True Grace brings Deeper Relationships.
I want you to know this grace, because I want you to know the value of true relationships. It is only with grace that we have the ability to go all in in a healthy relationship. It is only with grace that you will be able to have transparency in a relationship, to show up as you truly are. I want to show you that it is ok to dive deeper into relationships where the grace given is mutual. It is ok to not strive for perfection in at the face of other women. In fact, it is healthier for all parties involved when we don't. And this is truly how we show grace for others, by allowing them to not be perfect, and to have grace for themselves.
* “Letters To My Daughter” is a monthly series. Though the message may be short, it is always impactful. The photography for “Letters To My Daughter,” was created with a makeupless photo shoot with Ed Stewart Photography. To make sure to receive notifications of future “Letters to my Daughter” installments, subscribe at the link below!
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